Wicktionary Part Deux

Welcome to another installment of the West Texas Wicktionary, an ongoing attempt to document the foul acts of the Wicked Witch of West Texas by way of her perverse linguistic innovations. These portmanteaus were created by our least favorite evil-doer when she took her portmanteau primaries, and to this day some of these words have remained poorly understood. Through this project we hope drag these dank monstrosities into view, exposing the twisted brain that formed them, for only when we understand monsters can we avoid falling prey to them. (Wicktionary part 1)

vacatiacide- portparts: homicide, vacation. Definition: a homicidal vacation, usually disguised as a friendly visit with the purpose mending relationships that were damaged by previous misdeeds. It usually precludes ever being invited back, so must be used sparingly. 

Texile- portparts: Texas, exile. Definition: when one must retreat to Texas after committing so many evil acts in a more civilized locale that one becomes paranoid about reprisals. 

eduvaricate- portparts: educate, prevaricate. Definition: to educate by means of feeding the target lies and misinformation. Among Wickidity practitioners it's considered the most effective method, particularly when the lies and misinformation are contradictory, as this creates a condition of profound ambiguity forcing the student to struggle for answers or go bonkers. It also creates a student who refuses to believe anything it is told without absolute proof which imbues the student with absolute immunity to many forms of both nonsense and truth. 

insectihex- portparts: insect, hex. Definition: to hex someone with an insect related malady, such as complete or partial transformation into and insect, or spontaneous insect eruptions from the nose, mouth and ears, for instance. Many new species of insects have been created this way when someone was foolish enough to offer a critique of the Wicked Witch of West Texas or her aesthetic sensibilities. 

rodentihex- portparts: rodent, hex. Definition: to hex someone with a rodent related malady. One example was the unfortunate case of the hot headed naked ice borer, who used to be a girl named Laurie until she offered sartorial criticism to a very young Wicked Witch of West Texas. 

West Texas Wicktionary

The Witch's Dictionary-- Long before a certain Walla Walla Wickidity bigwig disappeared into the vast wasteland of West Texas, she created her masterwork of linguistic obfuscation, a set of portmanteaus so pretentious, so pedantic, and sometimes so sadistic, that linguists still puzzle over their real meanings. Some have been decoded. Many, however, contain meanings so convoluted that they defy all rational explanation, making them either useless or brilliant, though experts may never agree which is the case. This blog, in an effort to shine a light into the dark, damp, and often slimy mental machinations of the Wicked Witch of West Texas, will publish the meanings of some of these portmanteaus as they become known.

A word of warning-- these portmanteaus are inappropriate for everyone, and should not, under any circumstances be read, except as a way of guarding against their creator and better understanding the threat she poses to polite society. None of these portmanteaus should be taken to suggest any actual behavior. Also, reading about these words may cause dry mouth, dizziness upon standing, frequent urination, and sleep disturbances. That said, enjoy...

Knickle- Portparts: knuckle, tickle. Definition: to tickle with one's knuckles.

Brickle- Portparts: brick, tickle. Definition: to tickle with a brick.

Tortainment: Portparts: torture or torment, entertain. Definition: to entertain by means of torture or torment.

Huggle- Portparts: struggle, hug. Definition: to hug someone who is struggling.

Poisoeuvres: Portparts: poison, hors d'oeuvres. Definition: a poisoned appetizer, which de-necessitates further cooking. A labor-saving innovation. (Not to be mistaken for a seafood amuse bouche.)

There is a great deal more to come as we begin to comprehend the full horror of the Wicked Witch of West Texas's terrible crimes. Crimes against humanity, language, and good form. Stay tuned.

Posted By: Zelda del West