Zowie, A Word Not Often Enough Used

Gazing a-morn into the blinking triple eye of Algol, several thoughts occur to the amateur astronomer. Most of them are about pretty colors and dance moves, but some of them are of a more abstract nature (needless to say what follows is to be an extraordinarily philosophical meander, so turn back now) regarding rhizomic perspectives and the optics of kaleidoscopic balance. People don't think this is really a thing, but people don't wear dragon prints nearly often enough, either, especially in conjunction with other prints while also moving in unusual ways. It's like how people think some things are metaphors when they are, in fact, anvils. Our metaphors are unleashed.

Proof We Inhabit a Golden Age

Had it been known in the eighties that within our lifetimes the technology would exist that would make MTV redundant, allowing a person to watch DEVO videos any ol' time, we'd have told you to go back to the set of Back to the Future. Yep. This is awesome. The internet really did change everything.

The Day of the Puce Paisley Plague

There was once a pretty ordinary day given that it happened in this weird burg. It was a day characterized by everything turning puce paisley. The Day of the Puce Paisley Plague is how I refer to it.  Literally every, single, solitary item turned both purple and paisley, but that was barely shocking compared to the other thing that happened. It was also the day of puce paisley blindness for all but this citizen of Walla Walla and thus the day remains un-celebrated, non-commemorated, super-unsolemnized, and is thus, a raw nerve with some, and has even been known to cause an actual illness or talent in those who experienced The Day of the Puce Paisley Plague. Those who remember. It might or might not have caused a weird anomaly to develop in that subject. It could be said that it was right there that the cog slipped and the skull filling started to turn, but we'd say it was a more stupid mix of more accidents and bullshit than that accounts for the current level of wack production this would seem to indicate, but whatever. It was upon this very day of August and it happed, lo a many season back. It was what also put a certain person who noticed the reality shift, which was then accompanied by reality blindness, perceived an interesting clue about the nap on the purple paisley velvet of reality. Anyhow, it rendered non-garishness forever too dull and reality forever suspect. Systemic changes are occurring at an interesting pace in the Walla-sphere in the most singularity-emergent neon mixed prints. Fashion-trends of pure perceptual providence move fast. Fasssssst, like one of those racer snakes. So, in an effort (update-- there was some gibberish here about the painting website. Even I don't know what it meant.) There may also be no cogent reason for such thing to be done. It's really hard to say sometimes. When Herb shows up on the MTV music awards, who knows? No. I'll just change the name or something faster.

Sparkling Resident

The language of water, with a ghost emerges. Flame, electric, and Crater blue. Walla Walla is named for this association in ancient times. Much like surfing.

Interesting Conditions

Novel solutions. That's the theme of this week's dance-craze hex. Expect the unexpected. Combining bondage with a dance craze is a radical approach, but radical is what we do at Walla Walla Wickidity Works. Testing continues on the latest tech.

Some Stuff About Research Projects. It's Boring.

By the rivers of the many waters, known in ancient times by the ancestors as Many Waters, Water Water and also Walla Walla, mediums and messages is often a subject of discourse. Thus the introduction by the Research and Development Department of Walla Walla Wickidity Works, a public face for one of our ongoing weirdo-plasmic technologies, still in development known to some as Herb the Battle Unicorn. That Herb has a secret identity is almost too obvious to mention, but the legal department insists upon this distinction, blah de blah, given recent doppelganger activities in the area that could conceivably interact in some way with the bilocation technologies also in development. I do, at least, try to spell correctly and sometimes engage the grammar. It's a lot to keep track of with the warps. It's terribly informative as well. The task of interrogating the evolution of Herb is an entire field of inquiry and not for the timid. Whatever, since it's all avowedly malarky. West Texas is likely experiencing a weird level of synchronicity as well. It might do to check for sightings of Elvis and other typical stuff like that. Off to Nowhere.

Astrology Stuff Update: This is a pretty good moment to whip up a time travel thought experiment. just sayin'. Or maybe don't. Think about movies you've seen on the subject because certain sorts of irony burn worse than others and when you find yourself staring back from Bill and Ted, well... Sometimes it's baudacious and sometimes bogus. It's just a fun way to pass a summer day, really. What if you were your own Granddad, for instance? Silly. Think on it for a minute. Not that particular question, but the matter in general.

Herb's New Blog

Documenting Herb the Battle Unicorn the Action Figure --- LIMITED EDITION!!!

Chicken vs. Egg --- The Final Showdown

High noon, Walla Walla's town square will be the site of a good ol' debate and possibly shootout of some sort. Don't panic, since it will probably just be absurd or something. It might even get deadly boring by lapsing into a battle of wits among the vastly qualified. Which is to say, a siesta, of sorts, although we in the New Black Manse might rather prefer a more active and boogie-oriented outbreak to seed some nice fun and crazy into the mix. By this, I mean, of course a dance hex is probably in the offing because, in the immortal lines of Cyndi Lauper, "All things just want to have fun." That's a kinda big secret hidden in plain sight in a very ditzy package. You could also tell anyone that and it would never matter a bit, which makes it kinda more fun, which is a big part of certain persons' modus operandi, it would seem. Just a note to the wise, that, for anyone who has actually taken the time to ponder the points already posited here regarding cartoon logic and its current... hmm, well, incurrence into realities formerly not quite so permeable to its workings. Anyway, the actual point buried under this:

"Time Travel and Precognition-- What's Up With That Anyway?" The question bears vast implications for all sorts of dimensional physics. Elvis appeared on the evening of the 13th, a fact that I didn't know about until the 14th, though Elvis appeared in the Black Mansion on the 12th. Embedded here was likely some sort of joke not understood by this party. Anyway, the 13th, was, apparently, to kick off the event, with Herb the Battle Unicorn making a heavy metal appearance on the scene the very next day and by complete surprise, in keeping with the practice of a trick, or a practical joke. These were materialized appearances, to be clear. In truth, the event was long conjured, but, providential in complete. Keep in mind that all things relevant to the practice of time hi-jinks are susceptible to supreme levels of multiple perspectives, or simultaneous narratives. The connections are wack.The study of asynchronies is the study of synchronies. Participants and combatants alike are encouraged to make liberal use of ambiguity and jokes as a way of not getting too literal. That can only turn out funny, so, you know. Your own risk.

What could be the purpose of so much jibber-jabber on complex philosophy, besides an urge to indulge in a few senseless acts of academic jargon for pure obfuscatory affect? The medium sometimes is the message as well as the simulacrum of the message. Also, the exact opposite and other iterations and stuff. Don't worry. It's all sorted.

Fashion Psychic: Predicting the Next New Black

And it's going to be amazing. I see mixed prints going full on Op-Art. It's going to be simply terrifying, coinciding, as it must for the optical illusionary spectacle to work, with a resurgence of the MuMu. It will be the most challenging iteration of mixed prints ever, since surface and illusion are in constant consternation with one another and sequins could also happen. Balance could get tricky. Such disorientation is a romantic notion, so rational headgear, crafted from metals and with solar panels and wind generator capabilities that will also continuously charge one's devices might be the next over-accessorization trend. Always on.

And From the Stream Emerges

A heap lot of providence. It's Herb Triumphant, Christened. What emerges, pure from space/time is ever a surprise. Results forgotten often turn out for the better than could have been wanted. Portent, ripe and glorious, whatever that means. Elvis arrived yesterday, a show at the VFW. Elvis performing in Walla Walla certainly indicates a new era.

Danger--- A Summer Dance Experiment

Having long expounded the effects of sequins on light resistance during disco inferno conditions, which are obviously at their peak during August, certain Walla Walla dance factions are about to launch a large-scale sequined dance extravaganza for the purpose of reaching wack critical mass and rocketing this sleepy burg into cosmic gyrovantic strangeness for the foreseeable future or until Monday. According to the organizer of this event, one anonymous weirdo who seems to have no posse, this weekend should prove to be a watershed event for the ectoplasmic iterations in these parts. We shall see. One thing is certain, these threats of dance madness are not empty. The town has tried all manor of enforcement in its fight against the chaotic gyrations of groove, but factions of rival freaks cling to these customs in spite of the efforts of saner sorts. Again, dance is no victimless crime. People are enticed into participating even if they are barely consenting, or maybe not consenting voluntarily, like that one time when their friends all jumped off a bridge, except that those people no longer exist, which is good. They were wasting space on the dance floor. This is probably a good time to mention that there is an upcoming spelling bee and grammar challenge in the offing. Nobody knows exactly when. Nobody knows the purpose of this blog.