Wicked Witch of West Texas Claims Vindication for Red Shoe Theory of Physics

We all know the Wicked Witch of West Texas has long contended that physics would one day prove her controversial claim that "red shoes make you faster." The theory has been that objects colored red, particularly highly saturated manifestations of the hue, somehow decreased "light resistance." Some people have pointed out, most would say rightly, that this "theory" is nonsense and probably part of a general campaign of disinformation carried out by the Witch for purposes known only to her, but certainly with nefarious intent.

Well, guess what. Today scientists have announced a very surprising finding. Light, it turns out, can effect matter. We'll just quote from LiveScience.com from today, but be warned: you'd better hold on to your britches cause this little gem could bring your skull-filling to a full boil. Here it is:

Light can twist matter, according to a new study that observed ribbons of nanoparticles twisting in response to light.

Scientists knew matter can cause light to bend – prisms and glasses prove this easily enough. But the reverse phenomenon was not shown to occur until recently.

The researchers assembled strings of nanoparticles, which are tiny clumps of matter on the scale of nanometers (one nanometer is one billionth of a meter). In a darkened lab, the scientists linked nanoparticles together into ribbons. At first the nano ribbons were flat, but when a light was shone on them, they curled up into spirals.

The discovery was so novel, the researchers were skeptical of their own results at first.

"I didn't believe it at the beginning," Kotov said. "To be honest, it took us three and a half years to really figure out how photons of light can lead to such a remarkable change in rigid structures a thousand times bigger than molecules."

Okay. I know what you're thinking. This is a long way from proving that red shoes make you faster, and of course you're correct. But that isn't stopping the Wicked Witch of West Texas from claiming victory and total world taco domination because of her belief she's been vindicated.

"They had better credit me when this is published, since I posited this light and matter theory over fifteen years ago, when I hypothesized, or made an educated guess, that red creates less light resistance, and that red shoes would, therefore, make one faster. If they don't credit me, let's just say that Madagascar could use a few more exoticish tree frogs," the Witch was quoted as saying when reporters sought her out in West Texas today.

(above is scientist, Franco Andreone, who co-authored the paper.)

Posted by: Zelda del West

Send a Message in Secret Code: Acrostics

In her encounters with the Wicked Witch of West Texas, one of the skills Lulu must employ is unraveling secret codes. The first one she encounters is an acrostic. An acrostic is a coded message that looks like an ordinary piece of writing, but it really hides a second meaning if you know how to look. How does it doe such a thing? Well, the real message is made up of only a few of the letters in the original piece of writing.

For example, say I want to send a message that says: "I'll get you Lulu." (Of course, I wouldn't want to send such a message, but someone we all know of might.)

I might send a message like this: "In lemon lolipops grand elephants trampoline. Young otters understand levity unless levitation undermines."

That, certainly, is a foolish enough message that it makes a person think it's either nonsense, or it hides another sort of sense, if only we could figure out what it is. Well, in this case, the first letter of each word is the only one that counts. So, we would read the message like this:

"In lemon lolipops grand elephants trampoline. Young otters understand levity unless levitation undermines."

Write down only the letters in pink, the first of each word, and suddenly an real message appears from the silliness. If you were sending a message like this one, it helps if the person you are sending it to also knows the code, of course. Otherwise she'll assume it's a silly bunch of nonsense. So, now that you know about acrostics, maybe you should try one of your own with a friend.

Posted by: Zelda del West

Suitcase Words -Portmanteaus

Anyone who knows the history of the Wicked Witch of West Texas is aware that during her Wickidity training she created some very obfuscative, or even confusing, portmanteaus. But, you may be wondering, "What the heck is a portmanteau, and why do we call it that?" Well, here's a little looksee at the term portmanteau and its origin. (In the future we will be posting an ongoing Wicktionary, or a Wicked dictionary, of the portmanteaus the WWWT created for her portmanteau primary.)

A Portmanteau is a suitcase, but it's also a kind of word. Lewis Carroll invented the concept of packing together more than one word (as if they were stuffed together into a suitcase) to combine their meanings into a new word. A commonly used example is "brunch," which is a meal served later than breakfast and earlier than lunch which comes with a slice of cantaloupe.

Here is a poem by Carroll called the Jaberwocky, for which you may want to consult this glossary to discover his meanings.

Jaberwocky

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Waitomo Glow Worm Caves

Waitomo, New Zealand's caves are home to a fabulous species of gnats, called Arachnocampa Luminosa, that, in their larval stage, create gorgeous displays that resemble a starry sky in the caves' interior.


Great Caves of the World

Fastest Binary Star

A binary star is a pair of twin stars that orbit one another in space around their shared center of mass. Recently astrophysicists, or star studiers, have discovered a binary system called HM Cancri has an orbit of just 5.4 minutes. This is the fastest known orbit of any star pair, which correlates to a speed of 310 miles per second. Much faster, and they would turn into an Ia supernova, which really just means a huge star explosion. No reports back, just yet, as to whether they have tacos that far out in space.

Clara Rockmore Plays "The Swan" On Theremin

Clara Rockmore, the greatest virtuouso of the Theremin, was an advocate for the instrument being taken seriously. She was born in Lithuania in 1911, and was admitted to the Imperial Conservatory in St. Petersburg at age five-- still the youngest person ever admitted. She studied violin but had to give it up due to a medical condition, but she then switched to Theremin, at the time a new instrument.

The theremin never really caught on, partly because of the incredible difficulty of playing the instrument with any accuracy. It relies on relative placement of the hands in thin air. The other factor was its association with horror movies, like in this clip:

Of course, those of us who must fight Wickidity find such musical interludes relaxing. Which only serves to remind us that she who fights Witches, must be ever on guard against becoming Wicked herself.

The theremin has enjoyed a bit of a geek-based revival in recent years, as a person can actually construct a basic one at home rather cheaply and easily. There are people, in fact, who will make virtually anything into a theremin, like these guys:

Theremin - An Electronic Odyssey