I often have some strange and striking dreams
about an unknown girl, of love we share,
each time the same, each time a different air
about her swirls, who understands it seems.
She loves and understands me, from her beams
a crystal pure dismissing strife and care.
She, only, eases heart-ache and despair,
soothing pain with tears’ refreshing streams.
She’s blond, brunette, reflecting russet gleams?
I know not, nor her name and voice though fair
and sounding-soft if feels, far off I swear,
like loved ones Life has banished from its schemes.
A statue’s sightless stare, the look she gave.
Voice, - still echo of friends in the grave.
Benjamin Radford, LiveScience editor has, perhaps found the origins of the pervasive myth of the chupacabra. The first reported sighting was in 1995 in Puerto Rico:
Radford dug through every El Chupacabra mention and traced the physical description of the monster to a single event in the second week of August 1995, when a sketch from an eyewitness named Madelyne Tolentino ran in a Puerto Rican newspaper. Locals immediately tagged the alien-looking animal as El Chupacabra.
The creature, Radford noticed, shared a strong resemblance to the alien/human hybrid in the 1995 sci-fi thriller "Species." When he spoke to Tolentino, he asked her if the thing that she saw could have been inspired by the film. Indeed, she had seen the movie in the weeks prior to making her description.
"You can make a direct connection between the film hitting theaters, her seeing the creature in the film, seeing it in the street, making the report and entering the public conscious," Radford said.
This, of course, does not explain how something that was supposed to be "a bipedal creature, 4 to 5 feet tall with spikes down its back, long, thin arms and legs, and an alienlike oblong head with red or black eyes," was, in Texas, misidentified with every mangey coyote to lope down the road.
This also does not have anything to do with our actual chupacabra ranch and its inhabitants who were created by many mysterious means.
Making matters more complicated is that the tree is, in some ways, more like a web. Genes sometimes slip from one species to another, especially among microbes. There are lots of ways this can happen. Viruses can ferry these genes from species to species; in other cases, microbes may just slurp up naked DNA. In the process, they blur genealogy.
Biocomputers use systems of biologically derived molecules, such as DNA and proteins, to perform computational calculations involving storing, retrieving, and processing data... urrently, biocomputers exist with various functional capabilities that include operations of logic and mathematical calculations. Tom Knight of the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory first suggested a biochemical computing scheme in which protein concentrations are used as binary signals that ultimately serve to perform logical operations (349).² At or above a certain concentration of a particular biochemical product in a biocomputer chemical pathway indicates a signal that is either a 1 or a 0, and a concentration below this level indicates the other, remaining signal. Using this method as computational analysis, biochemical computers can perform logical operations in which the appropriate binary output will occur only under specific, logical constraints on the initial conditions. In other words, the appropriate binary output serves as a logically derived conclusion from a set of initial conditions that serve as premises from which the logical conclusion can be made. In addition to these types of logical operations, biocomputers have also been shown to demonstrate other functional capabilities, such as mathematical computations. One such example was provided by W.L. Ditto, who in 1999 created a biocomputer composed of leech neurons at Georgia Tech which was capable of performing simple addition (351).² These are just a few of the notable uses that biocomputers have already been engineered to perform, and the capabilities of biocomputers are becoming increasingly sophisticated. Because of the availability and potential economic efficiency associated with producing biomolecules and biocomputers, as noted above, the advancement of the technology of biocomputers is a popular, rapidly growing subject of research that is likely to see much progress in the future.
We know a lot of biocomputational units that can do better than simple mathematics, but this is still pretty darned interesting.
“Okay, Lulu, blow out the candles, but make sure you get them all,” Cybil said, scowling at Lulu.
Lulu took a deep breath and blew as hard as she could. All of the candles went out. But just as Lulu was reaching for the cake knife, they began to sputter and then they all relit themselves. “Ooooh!” Lulu cried out, “how did that happen?”
Twisted Candles, She Should Have Suspected
“Waaaaa, haaaaaa, haaaaaaa, haaaaaa,” a familiar cackle rang out from empty space. Then starting with the appearance of a pointy witchy nose, then the rest of the witchy face, which hovered for a few seconds in the air before the body started to appear, the Wicked Witch of West Texas materialized.
“Those are cursed candles Lulu,” the Witch explained in her most saccharine tone, “and when you blew them all out you put into effect the curse, which will kick in at the stroke of midnight on your eighteenth birthday.”
“Oh, no,” said Granny. “Don’t tell me she’s going to fall into a sleep near death from which she can only be awakened by the kiss of true love.”
“No…” said the Witch cocking and eyebrow and sneering at the shocked gathering, and letting the suspense mount for a few seconds before she went on. “It’s a lot worse than that.”
“You can’t keep me in Texas,” Lulu interjected as brattily as possible. “I’m wearing my Magical Ruby Witch Repelling Bling Ring.” She held her hand up to show the witch her ring. The witch didn't look at all perturbed.
“Don’t worry, my pretty, that isn’t the plan this time. I'll have plenty of chances to kidnap you later. Not that I will even want to once this curse takes hold. It will ruin your potential as a taco slave, but that's a small price to pay for revenge.”
“Tell us what you’ve done,” Granny demanded.
“Okay. On the stroke of midnight on Lulu’s eighteenth birthday the curse will go into effect and she will awaken the next morning with an undeniable urge to become…” she let the words hang for a second, “a performance artist.”
There was a sudden collective intake of breath and Lulu looked around the room to see that everyone had a stunned expression of horror on their faces. Except for Cybil, who looked very pleased.
“But why?” Granny was the first to speak. "She's just an innocent child."
“Well, now. Maybe you can explain how you’re having this lovely little party for the birthday of my favorite niece…”
“Your only niece.” Granny cut in.
“My one and only niece, the very same ungrateful creature whom I so generously offered a plum position in the taco industry only to have her soak me with an allergy inducing bucket of horchata” the Witch agreed, “and I never received an invitation.”
“Well, uh…” Granny stammered, “it must have been lost in the mail.”
“Waaaaa, haaaaaa, haaaaaa, haaaaa,” the Witch cackled, “I kind of expected you might say something just like that. We all know that there was no invitation, though. Don't we?”
"Maybe we have an old address, and it just didn't get to you," Jonas put in. His complexion was looking like melted roquefort, Lulu thought. It didn't look at all appetizing.
"I live in West Texas, as you are all aware. Just how many Wicked Witches of West Texas do you think there are?" She looked around the room but everyone just stared at the floor. "Never mind, though, because you will all pay."
"We aren't afraid of your stupid curse," Lulu sassed, giving the witch what she hoped was a look as mean as her math teacher gave during algebra.
The Witch just smiled.
"We'll see about that, won't we?" Then she disappeared.
“I guess I’m going to that Marginal Wizard again,” Jonas said, “but this worries me. I wish there was a Skilled Wizard of Calamity Flats, but they keep hiring burned out hippies and those guys are almost as bad as having no Wizard at all. They just want to cast some runes and clean your aura and stuff.” But, nevertheless, off they went toward Calamity Flats.
“This is very serious,” said the Marginal Wizard, “but I think I have a partial solution.”
“That sounds about right,” Jonas replied, but the Wizard missed the sarcasm.
Or maybe not, because his next words were: “Would you like to have the negativity cleansed from your aura?”
“No, I came here about the Performance Art Curse, remember?”
“Oh, yes, yes. Like I said before it’s a horrible affliction. I’ve seen some of the victims of these curses and the results can be pretty awful.”
“Poor Lulu,” Jonas moaned.
“Oh, I don’t think you should be worried about Lulu. It’s everyone else you should be concerned with.”
“What do you mean?”
“Generally the cursed person is quite happy to carry out all sorts of the most absurd histrionics. They have no sense of shame whatsoever. But for the people around them it is sheer torture. They are subjected to the most boring, obnoxious crap you can imagine," the Wizard explained.
"Oh," Jonas replied.
"The afflicted person is only encouraged by any attention it may garner, even if it's negative attention. It will get ever more ostentatious in it's displays, eventually inducing mass vomiting attacks and the like, which it will enjoy immensely."
"That's terrible."
Lulu smiled a little. She could see how this could be advantageous.
"So, you see, the Witch wasn’t actually punishing Lulu so much as she was punishing you,” the Wizard explained while twisting his beard.
“Good God." Jonas exclaimed. "What can we do? Surely you can reverse the curse.”
“Well, no. Not exactly,” the Wizard answered.
"Figures," Jonas muttered. The Wizard gave him another sharp look that seemed to imply a chakra balancing was in his near future.
"May I continue?"
Jonas said nothing. He really just wanted to get back to Walla Walla in time for dinner.
“As I was about to say, I do have something that will greatly mitigate its severity.”
“By all means we must do whatever it takes,” Jonas replied, picturing the excrutiating Hell of future Thanksgiving and Halloween dinners. He was starting to feel a little desperate.
“Tell Lulu to eat this pan dulce which has been treated with Pretentiousness Paralyzing Potion. She may still become a bit of a drama queen but at least she won’t develop the full symptoms associated with the Performance Art Curse.”
The Charmed Pan Dulce was Pink
“Great!” Jonas exclaimed. He grabbed the pan dulce from the Marginal Wizard and back over Green Indian Road he traveled.
“Eat this Lulu,” he told her upon his arrival.
She folded her arms in front of her and scowled.
“I don’t like it,” she declared.
“You’ve never tasted it,” Jonas pointed out.
“I don’t care. I still don’t like it and I won’t eat it,” Lulu replied in her haughtiest tone. She clamped her mouth shut as tightly as possible and gave Jonas her meanest look.
“Well, then, maybe I’ll eat it,” Jonas said, lifting the pan dulce to his mouth.
“Give it to me!” Lulu screamed.
“No, Lulu, this is a very sweet frosted treat and you know how I like sweets.”
Lulu grabbed the pan dulce and ate every crumb.
"Give me more or I will scream," Lulu declared.
"Sorry, Lulu. That's all there was."
As Lulu screamed for more pan dulce, Jonas began to suspect that even without the curse there might eventually be trouble.
Invites are self-administered, because, my darlings, you know who you are. The time is the same as always, so is the place. Rev your turbo encabulators, and grab your vacuum buckets. We've already set the traversable wormhole to the other side, where it's always midnight under the full moon. The Black Mansion is stocked and the pool of serenity beckons. Don't worry the water's always fine and besides, how do you expect to find what you haven't lost?
..Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
(Shakespeare, and if you press me to look up the sonnet I will. But you won't and I won't)
Strange happenings are almost surely in store tonight, as the moon will be in perigee-syzygy, though not, as most sources are suggesting, for the first time in 18 years. It will be the closest "supermoon" this year, out of several, though. We're having a moonlight basking party here at the ranch to work on our phosphorescence, and one lucky winner will receive an all expense paid trip (via a magical carpet steamer) to the surface of the moon. When you see that great big moon up there tonight watch for our lucky winner. I'm sure he or she will give a wave however strong those solar winds may blow.
Yes, we have long worked to chronicle the many dance crazes to seize West Texas in their rhythmic enchantments. You may remember when we Madisoned maniacally 'til midnight and frantically frugged unfazed 'til fainting from exhaustion. Scientists have posited that the outbreaks of round the clock dance phenomenon have been attributable to a certain proneness to mass hysteria. Those of us who study the West Texas environs know better, though. We know it all comes down to wickidity. Hexes, that is. And don't ever mistake for a dance craze the incredibly dangerous tendency toward twisting sisters. This time is different, though. No sister twisting, just The Twist, as our good friend Klaus Nomi is in the mansion, where we recorded this gem just yesterday. Tornado season is nearly upon us, and certain practitioners of the dark arts do love a good twister, so we will twist ourselves in preparation, but, again, not our sisters. Twist away, LuLu. You know you want to. And with a certain broom still missing, it could be a useful skill.
Update: I feel a need to clarify after receiving an email asking the following: "What if your sister does The Twist? Isn't this the same as twisting your sister?" The answer is, no. You sister can twist all she wants, as can you. As long as the twisting is of her own volition nothing bad will happen, but believe me when I tell you, I had a sister, and she got twisted, and now I find myself exiled to this strange place trying to keep her from even more sinister deeds than she's already committed. I speak from experience in this matter. Don't twist your sister.
After the previous post the Wicked Witch of West Texas appeared in the crystal ball here in the Black Mansion, and she had this little ditty to pass on to LuLu. She claims it was filmed yesterday and performed by one of her dearest friends right here in West Texas, but somehow it seems familiar. And now a strange foreboding casts it's shadow on our deeply felt groove.
The sky is bright and the sun is sunny, but hereabouts we're feeling funny. Lu was here and now the broom is gone. The witch is still mad but she's got it all wrong. She thinks it's out West, but her minions are failing and can't get it back in spite of her railing. The witch may find it but the odds are long, so Lu can dance to this little song. See ya soon, Lu Lu.
From Here
We're quitting the Black Mansion for a swim with the sea sparkle in Victoria, Australia's Gippsland Lakes by week's end. Surely all that luminescing must be great for one's skin?
Mae West sings "Twist and Shout." Who knew that Mae West recorded two rock and roll albums back in the late ’60s, in an effort to appeal to the younger generation? I didn’t until I tumbled head first into this gold mine of kitsch over at YouTube. It goes without saying this effort was a complete failure, but the results were actually pretty fantastic. Besides this cover of “Twist and Shout,” West also covered “Day Tripper,” “Rock Around the Clock,” “Treat Him Right,” "Light my Fire," and a fabulous rendition of “Great Balls of Fire.” This is good stuff, kids. Sadly, there's no actual video as far as I know, of her performing these songs, but that would just be too much to hope for. Here’s a bonus quote from Mae: Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
As always, my fellow denizens of dark forgotten places: don't get your sisters twisted.
