West Texas Wicktionary

The Witch's Dictionary-- Long before a certain Walla Walla Wickidity bigwig disappeared into the vast wasteland of West Texas, she created her masterwork of linguistic obfuscation, a set of portmanteaus so pretentious, so pedantic, and sometimes so sadistic, that linguists still puzzle over their real meanings. Some have been decoded. Many, however, contain meanings so convoluted that they defy all rational explanation, making them either useless or brilliant, though experts may never agree which is the case. This blog, in an effort to shine a light into the dark, damp, and often slimy mental machinations of the Wicked Witch of West Texas, will publish the meanings of some of these portmanteaus as they become known.

A word of warning-- these portmanteaus are inappropriate for everyone, and should not, under any circumstances be read, except as a way of guarding against their creator and better understanding the threat she poses to polite society. None of these portmanteaus should be taken to suggest any actual behavior. Also, reading about these words may cause dry mouth, dizziness upon standing, frequent urination, and sleep disturbances. That said, enjoy...

Knickle- Portparts: knuckle, tickle. Definition: to tickle with one's knuckles.

Brickle- Portparts: brick, tickle. Definition: to tickle with a brick.

Tortainment: Portparts: torture or torment, entertain. Definition: to entertain by means of torture or torment.

Huggle- Portparts: struggle, hug. Definition: to hug someone who is struggling.

Poisoeuvres: Portparts: poison, hors d'oeuvres. Definition: a poisoned appetizer, which de-necessitates further cooking. A labor-saving innovation. (Not to be mistaken for a seafood amuse bouche.)

There is a great deal more to come as we begin to comprehend the full horror of the Wicked Witch of West Texas's terrible crimes. Crimes against humanity, language, and good form. Stay tuned.

Posted By: Zelda del West