Lulu and the "Snipe": Enter the Labyrinth

"What are you?" Lulu asked the weirdo standing in front of the building which signage declared to be a library.

"I am what I am," it answered, pushing it's thick glasses up higher on the bridge of it's nose, "and by any name would smell the same. How do you know you really even exist?"

"Are you a snipe?"

"I am different things in different places and different places are different times," the thing answered. "You may ask me any question, my dear. I will tell you anything you wish to know, for I live in the library and have read every book therein."

"Where do we find a snipe?" Lulu asked, unsure she wanted to wait for any more answers from the weirdo.

"It would depend on the time at which one wanted to find said snipe and whether or not there is a creature, the true essence of which, could be aptly described as "snipe." For what does "snipe" really signify anyway?"

"Uh..."

"Now, if we are to accept the existence of this creature, which we shall, for the sake of this argument, call "snipe," then how will we decide which qualities are absolutely essential in order to define it's "snipe-ness," if you will? Furthermore, if we are not positive that such a thing exists could not, then, any quality at all, like chocolatiness, or blandishments be considered attributes essential to "snipe-ness?"

"Maybe we should just look in the library ourselves." Lulu stepped toward the door of the building, but the bespectacled weirdo held up his arm to bar her way.

"You must not go in there. It's a dangerous labyrinth and you will become hopelessly lost if you set foot inside to find the answers you seek and you'll have no way of knowing what is true and what is not, which is why I'm here."

"It says it's a library." 

"All libraries are labyrinths. They're the most confusing places imaginable."

"Maybe I'll take my chances."

"Oh, no. I cannot allow that. It's far too dangerous. Just ask me whatever it is you need to know and I'll tell you the answers. It's way less confusing than getting lost in there. I never allow anyone in there except for myself. But it doesn't matter since I have all the answers."

Lulu was pretty sure she'd rather try to figure out what she needed to know herself than waste any more time on the non-sense the possible snipe or not-snipe offered.

"I think we'll just be on our way," she told the creature.

"But how ever shall you find your way at all if you don't let me tell you how to find what you seek? That is just too dangerous. You'd better stay right here and listen to me, my dear."

"I guess I'll have take my chances trying to figure it out. Snipe."

"I never said I was called that," the creature objected as Lulu turned to walk away.