"Shut up you stupid Granny," Lulu screamed.
"Now, Lulu, that isn't nice," Granny replied. "You really need to come to the dinner table."
"Don't talk to me!" Lulu shouted, sticking her tongue out at Granny. "You don't know anything and I'm not listening to you."
"Lulu, if you don't look out you could turn out like the Wicked Witch of West Texas. I might even send you to Texas to live with the Wicked Witch and see how you like that?" Granny threatened. "Texas is a dirty, dumb, uncivilized place."
"I won't go and you can't make me. Besides those are just stereotypes about Texas."
"Stereotypes save time," Granny replied.
Lulu was about to come back with a nasty rejoinder but she was interrupted.
Suddenly there was a loud pop! and smoke filled the room. Before she could see through the stinging smoke Lulu heard the Witch.
"Now I'll get you Lulu. When your Granny made that threat I heard it all of the way over in Texas and I came here in my magical smoke belching fuel guzzling SUV to take you away. And I see you've gotten careless with your bling again too," the Witch said, pointing at Lulu's naughty little hand where the Magical Witch Repelling Ruby Bling Ring was not in evidence. Lulu remembered she had left it by the sink when she went to wash her grubby mitts only a few minutes before she began hurling defiant insults at Granny. "Now that I've cured my horchata allergy, you won't be getting away so easily as last time, either."
"Shut up you stupid Witch," Lulu replied. "You're ugly and I don't even believe you're a real witch. Besides I have to go to school."
"Waaaaaa, haaaaaaa, haaaaaaa," the Witch cackled. "You won't need any fancy book learnin' in Texas. All you need to know there is to stay out of low water crossings." Lulu heard Crispin outside barking at the magical smoke belching SUV as it sat idling and guzzling enormous amounts of fuel. "Anyway, you don't have to know how to read to make tacos and that's all you're going to be doing."
"I won't work in your taco stand," Lulu declared.
"We'll see about that," the Witch replied waving her wand. Poof! Sparks flew from the end of the wand as the Bling Ring floated from the bathroom and straight into the hand of the Wicked Witch. "Now I have your Magical Ruby Witch Repelling Bling Ring, so I will be immune to the vulgarity of bling! The days of my aesthetic vulnerabilities are over."
What the Witch didn't know, and Lulu didn't tell her because Lulu was not aware of the fact, was that Lulu had destroyed the Vugarity Innuring charm. Worse than destroyed it really. She had worn the ring once to a bling infested area of the mall which had inverted the Vulgarity Innuring charm turning it into a Sensitizing Hideousness Hex. Lulu just hadn't noticed because, unlike the witch, she was immune to bling.
"Just let me slip this ring on and we'll be going," the Witch said, sliding the ring onto her finger. "Ooooooh Nooooooooo! The Witch screamed. "Something is wrong." Just then Cybil came through the door carying a very garish outfit she was going to foist on Lulu. The outfit was composed of fake leopard fur with sparkles. It's rainbow hued sparkle fur trim was, itself trimmed by some lovely gold-tone chain. It was easily the most hideous outfit that side of Calamity Flats and Cybil's plan had been to make Lulu wear it to school where she would likely be taunted, pelted with cafeteria food and given nicknames humiliating enough to require years of therapy.
The witch took one look at the outfit and began to wail. "My eyes!" the Witch cried. "They're melting, melting."
And indeed they were. Running down her face, that is, and making a ghastly goooey mess.
"Ha!" yelled Lulu. "You can't take me to Texas now!"
The Witch was clawing at the ring trying to get it off, but it appeared to be stuck. "AAAAAAAAh," she screamed, but finally some of the melting eye goo got on her hand and she was able to slip the ring off and throw it to the floor. Then she waved her wand, depositing herself back in the magical SUV and she was off.
"Lulu," said Granny, "why weren't you wearing your Bling Ring?"
"Next time I will," Lulu said.
"You know who has to clean up this mess, right?"
"Not me. I didn't make that stupid witch's eyes melt," Lulu answered and then ran for the door.
"Lulu get back here," she heard Granny screaming as she made for her favorite hiding place.
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